Just This Side of Normal

I suppose I should write something positive here so you don’t think our Christmas was horrible. The boys sure made out like bandits, mostly because we went a little overboard. Keith has this thing about needing to have the tree jammed full of presents or it just isn’t a good Christmas or something. He didn’t necessarily say that, but we always put the boys’ presents in a pile and it has to be an acceptable size pile or he wants to add to it. Anyway, even though many of the presents were more expensive this year, he still had a “pile expectation”. I can’t blame it all on him, but he is a bigger shopaholic than I am generally, though I do understand his want for his children to have a good Christmas. More »

They say that the “after Christmas blues” are common, but I’m not sure you could even call it that. I don’t really care that Christmas is over. I don’t miss it. I’m not sad because the excitement and anticipation are gone and it’s not that it didn’t live up to my expectations. Maybe I’m a little upset by how much we spent and the bills that are looming, but really I’m not sure why I’ve been feeling like crap lately. I can’t pinpoint any specific event or reason and it really kinda hit me unexpectedly. Sure, it’s that time of the month and the raging hormones probably aren’t helping, but I don’t think that’s the entire cause. More »

Today was definitely one of “those” days. You know, a day when nothing goes right, your flaws and imperfections are exposed and shoved under a magnifying glass, just to make sure you know they’re still there and haven’t forgotten about them. One of those days when you sit around and wonder where your life is going and what the point is, why you try so hard and get the wrong result, and is it worth the effort? A day when you just want to go back to bed and start over again tomorrow.

I was listening to this song a lot today. Check it out in the music player. More »

Well, okay, maybe not that dramatic, but it’s so good to see Cameron not struggling with something.  He’s been doing fantastically with his math lately.  He’s been doing so well that he’s up to the same level as his regular class on his addition skills.  His subtraction is coming along nicely too.  I’ve gotten several comments now from his aide about the timed exercises they do in the regular classroom and how he’s been beating out most of the class in speed and getting them all right - without (let me emphasize without) his touchpoints!

For those of you who don’t know what touchpoints are, here’s a diagram.  Basically, it puts little dots at various points on the number to give a child a visual to help them count.  They usually start out teaching math with tangible objects like blocks and then eventually move on to the touchpoints.  They are more practical and require less modification than using objects.  I think the hope is that they will either figure it out and not need to have the visual anymore, or memorize the placement of the dots on the numbers so that they can do it without them.  There’s probably a better description out there than that, but that’s my understanding from my point of view.

I just think it is great that there is actually something Cameron is not having trouble with.  He has always loved numbers and that is finally paying off.  I remember when he used to, just for the fun of it when he was bored at home, take a sheet of paper and just start writing out his numbers over and over and over.  He was definitely more interested in numbers than letters so I hope this fascination with numbers continues to be a strength for him.

I haven’t been doing very well about getting this site back up and running again.  With Christmas just around the corner, it seems like there’s always something new to do.

I think we pretty much have all of our shopping done, thank goodness.  I can’t stand last minute Christmas shopping and fighting the awful crowds and dealing with the poor selection.  We finally got our tree up and some of our outdoor stuff, but not all of it.  We procrastinated again this year and now it’s just too cold, not to mention there’s no point in going through the trouble when it’s almost Christmas and we’ll just be taking it all back down again.

The boys are, of course, super excited for Christmas, but particularly Caleb.  He has gotten quite curious this year and I think is catching on to the whole idea.  He knows there’s presents stashed around here somewhere and he’s been snooping around for them.  At one point, he was convinced we were hiding them in the truck, and then he was trying to open the locked door to the attic and now I think he thinks they’re in the garage.  We need to get them moved out of our closet before he starts looking there! 

I know I can’t wait until Christmas gets here because some of the things we got I think will make for less daily stress for all of us.  Caleb has been attached at the hip to his CD player lately, which he’s dropped so many times it’s now on the verge of not working right.  We got him an mp3 player and a new set of headphones that I think he’ll really like - and of course, they’re red, his favorite color.

Cameron has been fighting with Caleb tooth and nail over the Playstation 2 lately, particularly the Wall-E game.  Problem is, Wall-E is for the most part a one player game.  There are “minigames” on there for two players, but it’s not the same as the rest of the game.  So they’re constantly fighting over whose turn it is.  We got both boys a Nintendo DS this year and Cameron in particular, a Wall-E game for it.  So hopefully this bickering and fighting will at least lessen (yeah, right).

Things have been pretty rough for us lately.  Keith and I have been arguing all the time it seems like and some days the boys can be too much to take.  So I was reading Keith’s blog tonight and since I can’t violate his privacy and stick a link in here, I figured there was no harm in quoting a few sentences that really touched me.

While preparing to go to my second job Caleb comes to find me. And all he wants is to tell me he loves me and get a hug. I think he must have said it 3 or 4 times. Both of our two boys are autistic and sometimes its hard to tell how much they really understand things. Other times they clearly do know more than it seems. Sometimes it doesn’t matter - just simple acceptance and love without question. A hug could melt the worst things away………………a band-aid for the soul.

Caleb is our older 10 year old.  Most days, he is not a very “huggy-feely” boy, the way Cameron is.  Usually, the response I get is “leave me alone” or “I’m busy” so when I hear things like this, I know it must mean he really misses his dad.  Keith works a lot so he’s hardly ever home.  I imagine that’s difficult for the boys to process and understand.

I hope things change for the better soon.  All this stress is taking its toll, as if our lives weren’t difficult enough already.

So here is my first post.  I wanted to put something on here to make it official I guess.  I’m not really sure what the point of this blog is going to be yet.  Probably just the ramblings and craziness of my life I suppose.  I haven’t decided if I am going to import all my old posts from when I had this blog a few years ago.  They are, after all, old news so maybe I should just start fresh.

I am just a married mother of two boys trying to earn a living and keep my marriage intact.  I should mention that my boys are both autistic, which can make things rather complicated at times.  But I won’t go into all that just yet.  You’ll learn all about my problems soon enough.  I’ll try to get an About page put up soon, but I’m not promising anything.

Anywho, welcome.